How To Find Your Voice Of Calm

We all have an inner Voice of Calm: an unconditionally loving, non-judging, eternally wise voice that has all the answers. Here’s how I discovered mine.

When I decided to live happily ever after without alcohol in my life I started to hear voices in my head. My macaw Atticus does sound like a demented old woman but that wasn’t one of the voices.

The loudest voice, for the first few weeks, said,

‘What the actual fuck are you doing?!?! This will never work!’

Happily though, without alcohol I found it pretty easy to stop listening to that voice and it soon shrivelled up and died. With the internal noise levels lowered, I became aware of another voice. A much lovelier, calmer, kinder and wiser voice which said,

‘All is well, Liz. All is well.’

That is my Voice of Calm and it’s my new best friend. Would you like to know how to find your Voice of Calm?  Glad you asked.

How To Find Your Voice Of Calm Without Alcohol
Me, pretending to meditate. I think Marley, the brown dog, suspects.

Where Is Your Voice Of Calm?

Exercise 1

Sit in an upright, comfortable position, with your eyes closed. It can be the classic mediataion position as above or just sitting in a chair with your hands on your lap. Take between 1 and 5 minutes for all of the exercises.

Breathe slowly, deeply and evenly in and out through your nose to calm your body, letting your shoulders fall, your tongue rest on the bottom of your mouth and all the muscles in your face relax completely. After a few cleansing breathes you must empty your mind of all thought. Don’t allow any thoughts to exist at all. Go.

How was it? It’s bloody hard isn’t it. Stopping that attention-seeking master of distraction is just so difficult. You told the mind to be quiet but it probably wouldn’t listen. Even though you kept telling it to stop, more thoughts tumbled in.

Exercise 2

Try it again but this time imagine you are looking at a mouse hole in a wall. Start with deep breathing and relaxing all your muscles in your face and your shoulders. See the empty hole and imagine your thoughts are mice. Don’t let any mice out of that hole. Go. 

If you managed even 30 seconds without any thoughts then well done! What a huge relief it can be to silence the mind even for a moment. You may have found that after a while you started to think again without noticing. Mice weren’t coming out of the hole but in fact your mind had started wondering.

And there woud have been some awareness of this. A voice saying, ‘You’re thinking…. There’s a thought…And there’s another one.’

What was that voice? What part of you knew that you were thinking but was separate from your thinking? It was your Voice of Calm; your awareness; the watcher of your thoughts but not your thoughts.

If you had an anxious, angry or belittling voice in your head, berating you for not doing better then that was still thought as opposed to your inner knowing.  The Voice of Calm is unconditionally loving and eternally wise.

How To Find Your Voice Of Calm Without Alcohol
Thoughts can feel like the dry land on which we stand. In actual fact, the ocean of ‘no thought’ is where the real truth is. That’s where intuition, inner calm and happiness lie. You just have to let go and swim.

Exercise 3

Try it again and this time focus your attention on the space between your eyebrows (your third eye). Same as before with the breathing and relaxing, take your time and try to stop all conscious chatter. When thoughts arise simply allow them to pass by like clouds. Focus on the Voice of Calm and let go of everything else. Off you go.

If you had even the teeny tiniest glimpse of inner awareness then I am overjoyed for you. That’s meditation and it is a connection to wisdom that can change your life, if you let it. It takes practice and patience but if you let go of your need to control every minute of your life then you discover that control was just an illusion anyway. Heavy!

I will be writing loads more on this but for now let me know what happened. Did you feel a connection with your Voice of Calm? Or are you thoughts just too loud? Maybe you are very familiar with meditation and you have some great tips to share. I would love to hear from you.

{Check It Out: What Is Kundalini Yoga?}

Why ‘Voice of Calm’?

Around the same time I quit the booze,  I kept waking in the morning with a really old hymn in my head, which we used to sing in school assemblies. I’m sure you know it. It ends with the words:

Speak through the earthquake wind and fire

O still small voice of calm

O still small voice of calm.

Here are some churchy people singing it at Winchester Cathedral.

I’m not a Christian but I felt a really strong connection to these words when I was a kid and thinking back they resonate with me still. I find it so comforting to know that through all the shit, the noise, opinions, doubts, insecurities and pain there is a voice saying, ‘All is well. All is well.’

Speak through the earthquake wind and fire

O still small voice of calm

It just made complete sense.

Whether it’s a Voice of Calm, the ‘Atma’ as Hindu’s call it, the New Age ‘universal consciousness’ or God, it’s bloody handy to have wisdom on call. All you have to do is listen.

Namaste. Amen. Sat Nam. And whatever Buddhists say.